. . . "today was a good day - I am really tired -i layed back in bed - and had a hard time even enjoying the lie down - so tired -but i started adjusting - and enjoyed it -at once i had hoped someone was there -but weird - that probably is not the right time -i guess though wishing to have our hands held - is ok - i began though to not fear sleep and letting go -and so it made that hand not needed - but" .