| http://www.w3.org/ns/prov#value | - The biggest things to work on are descriptions and characterization.This is in the first paragraph, and the descripion is a bit distracting: My heart was falling a million miles per second into the earth, as I went looking for a compartment to wait for Hogwarts to arrive in.First, everything before the comma is nice, but it feels like you???re trying to sound poetic instead of just writing.
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